HARD VIEW
BEER MATH
Here’s a conundrum for you:
·
Firstl, pick the number of times a week you
would like to have a mineral drink. (It should be more than 1 but less than
10).
·
Multiply this number by 2.
·
Add 5.
·
Multiply it by 50.
·
If you’ve already had your birthday this
year add 1762. If you haven't, add 1761.
·
Now subtract the four-digit year that you
were born.
You should have a three-digit number
The first digit of this was your original number of the number of times a week you would like to have a mineral drink.
The next two numbers are.......
YOUR AGE!
You should have a three-digit number
The first digit of this was your original number of the number of times a week you would like to have a mineral drink.
The next two numbers are.......
YOUR AGE!
When a friend told me that she
could work out my age using a formula known as beer math, it initially sounded
strange. When she started working it out using the above formula, the whole
‘add this’, ‘subtract that’ and ‘multiply those ‘seemed complicated. But at the
end when I saw that the formula added up to my age and the number of drinks I
had chosen in my mind, the whole complex process seemed to somehow make sense.
The fact that the answer to the puzzle is accurate no matter the number of
drinks chosen and the age of the person I tried it on reinforces, in my mind,
the notion that sometimes one is confronted with situations that, on the face
of it, seem unworkable, but in the end, the result makes sense. Much like the
way I view Nigeria, a country of 250 different types of people lumbered
together in one geographical location. A country with so much difficulties and
dimensions but in the end, despite our troubles, it’s a country that makes
sense to me.
Presently this nation exists
within an atmosphere of divide and blame; so much so that people are calling
for the separation of the country openly. The game where we blame each other
for all the evils in our country never resonated more than a millisecond with
me. I have always believed that the past and present government officials who
have fluffed up the affairs of the country and the extremists that have chosen
to exact a culture of violence should be responsible for their own acts and it
is not fair to extend guilt by association to everyone else.
It is a fact that every decision, embezzlement
and indiscretion made by our governments and leaders have been made by people
from the various different parts of the country as they assemble a government
of national character. It is no news to Nigerians that kidnapping, 419, armed
robberies has been carried out by the different array of people across this
country. Even the bombings and violence now predominantly carried out by
Boko-Haram first reared its ugly head when the Niger-Delta militants unleashed
terror on civilians in the FCT, Lagos and Port Harcourt. It is unlikely that at
any point a region, as a collective, has endorsed the destruction of another as
a matter of policy. It is a belief fuelled purely by dogma, self-delusion,
ignorance and bigotry in varying levels.
When commentators and terrorists publicly refer
to Nigerians in “us and them’ terms; when they suggest the separation of
Nigeria in order to rid the country of ‘the bad-people’, it amounts to the
pursuit of an agenda to revoke the full civil liberties of other Nigerians.
Also, the people who think they are defending their freedom of speech and
action by unreasonably reducing every mishap and tragedy in this country down
to ethnic and religious indices, have not the ability to exercise these
freedoms responsibly, or judge whether others do so because they are equally
segregating others.
The
truth is that anyone who continues to spread disharmony and promote dichotomy
between the different regional and ethnic groups in the name of fighting for
freedom, is kind of similar to those that set out to harm innocent Nigerians
through violence or otherwise. They play a large part in perpetuating the bloody
ethnic conflicts and tense inter-religious hatred we see today. We demonize the extremes of violence,
but each form of violence exaggerates an endemic process of persuasion by those
at the top of the social order. Most violence is not idiosyncratic: An
irresponsible and careless expression by influential members of a society has
the greatest potential of taking on a physical form. If those of us who are
better informed continue spreading inaccurate information of negative rhetoric
and stereotype, then Nigerians, together or apart, will never overcome.
We need to start addressing the real issues that
have decayed this nation and apportioning blame where blame is due rather than
allowing primitive sentiments to oppress our minds. If individuals in
government loot our coffers, they, and not their village folk, should take
individual responsibility for their misappropriation. If some crazy fanatic
goes on a murderous rampage and blows up guiltless Nigerians, the blood of the
innocents should be on that individual person’s hands and not on all the people
who read the same scripture as him.
In the 52 years that we have existed as an
independent country, terrible things have happened to Nigeria; gross amounts of
corruption have underlined our existence. But with the bad, comes the good
because in those 52 years, wonderful things have also happened. I have always
believed Nigeria’s main asset is its people and diversity. Whenever I meet a
Nigerian abroad, the tribe they come from or the stereotypes that their region
is burdened with has never been a consideration for me. The fact that they come
from Nigeria always gives me a sense of camaraderie. Yes, we are different;
different customs, different foods, different languages, different features and
different beliefs but not so different that we cannot respect and embrace those
differences.
I am a Hausa/Fulani from Katsina who is
absolutely proud of my identity. But before that, I am a Nigerian to the core
with the spirit and soul of my motherland. I am more than happy to come from
the most populous and diverse country in Africa.
This nation is very complicated, but through
God’s Grace we exist as a nation. And just like Beer Math, although we are a
complicated formula, the different and various people fated together under this
nation in theory do make sense. So if anybody tells you that Nigeria can add and multiply its worth by subtracting
a certain region and dividing the
country, despite the fact that their words sound like it’s emanating from a
beer parlour, tell them about the unconventional logic in this Beer Maths!
Hannatu
Musawa
Twitter-
@hanneymusawa
Hannatu, honestly, I am laughing as I am writing this. I haven't drank too much. Its late Saturday Night and The Night has just started, lol. Hmmm. (In deep thought). One day, we are going to talk. Sit down face-to-face and talk. You and I. Talk about Nigeria. Don't worry. The Beer will be on me, lol! I am the "man" in this "relationship".Double lol!
ReplyDeleteYou have raised many issues in your gentle, fair piece. But it's too simplistic! I don't like simplistic, easy, placid argument. I hold myself to high standards. Nigeria has no standards whatsoever and I abhor the leaders (past and present) for bringing such opprobrium to fellow Nigerians.
The only saving grace is the democracy we have today. We must continue on this path so that Nigerians can mature, politically; so that they can hold their leaders accountable; so that systems can function better - many more homes with potable water, electricity, clean roads, functioning sewage etc.
Hanney, I have already identified you as a change agent. If it pleases The Almighty God, we shall work together to change Nigeria for the better. Ramadan Kareem.
p.s. I am letting you into a secret. I am more of a liquor guy than lager.
For the past two weeks, it has been a torrid time for me, as here is a Fulani lady (apologies to petulent Sahara commentatora), being harassed, bashed, intimidated & threatened by ignorant, sexist & chauvinist serial commentators. But the Beer Maths treatise did it for me. In fact, I dont pity you at all, as now the aggregated opinion within pestering responder community, is beware of the veiled one, she is an inplant of the hegemony or is it oligarchy....It is always better to be respectly loathed by an opponent & please let the mortal intellectual battle continues, the pen is always mightier than the sword.
ReplyDeleteAnorher good one from you as usual, keep on!. Allah ya saka wa Babanmu Alh. Musa da alkhairi, Ameen.
ReplyDelete